...Just a girl and her guitar...

I'm starting to feel like...

2010-02-06T14:43:00.000-08:00

...Why should I even bother...

Some times it's just not worth the energy to even think of how to fight back against certain one-track-mind people.
Those people out there who believe their way is the ONLY way or else... or that they know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING when in fact they dont...

You don't agree with me - FINE - you're entitled to your own opinions. But don't try to force me to change my opinions, feelings, ideals because you think I should. I will NOT conform to your ways because you think I should.

These people don't seem to realize that underneath it all, I am a very VERY stubborn person. The more you try to push me, the harder I'll push back... normally..

But it's getting to the point where I'll just say "Yeah, okay" and pretend to agree with them, just to shut them the hell up...

But underneath it all, all I'm really doing is slowly putting up that wall I had torn down. Brick by brick it's going back up, and I'll stay inside my shell to protect myself. That's how I've survived thus far...

...Just a few of my favorite things...

2010-01-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

I love...

...to smile so hard it makes my head hurt.

...to laugh so hard I can't breath.

...to feel the wind in my hair and the sun shining down on me.

...a warm cup of Earle Grey Tea.

...perfectly ripened Mangoes.

...going to the mall to window shop. Yes this can tend to be depressing if you haven't got any money to spend, but its still therapeutic...

...cookies and cream ice cream.

...the ringing in your ears days after a really awesome concert.

...getting into the "flow" of whatever project you may be working on at the time.

...a really great afternoon nap.

...a glass of Asti and a bowl of strawberries.

What are some of your favorite things???

You'll never guess what I saw....

2010-01-21T12:21:00.000-08:00

... That's how the story always begins when I get home and am reporting seeing something odd, funny, or just plain stupid.

Since I'm convinced that what they said in Men in Black is true... "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animal..."

So... While I was out and about yesterday, I spied with my little eyes a sign posted to a light pole which read:

IMPEACH OBAMA!!!

Now, I don't normally talk politics, it's one of my Taboo Subjects. But in this case, I feel I must comment...

I dont really have an opinion of Obama. I mean, every time he's been mentioned in this past year - his first year in office, all I've heard is that he's pushing a health care reform bill, and he's on vacation.

The man has taken more vacations in THIS ONE YEAR, than the average American gets to take in 10 years!!!

I can understand being upset with him, but if you think about the mess he inherited, I can understand why he's not really accomplished much this year.

Being President of the United States of America is not a job I would ever want. That's a big job, big responsibility, and some pretty fucking big shoes to fill. So I'm glad it's someone else doing that job, and not me. Americans voted for him because they wanted a change, unfortunately, the change they got was a president who's main priority is vacation.

Okay... so THIS LINK says he's only taken 26 days of vacation in his first year. Considering the average American has to work someplace for one calendar year before accruing 10 vacation days and with some companies, it takes 5 years or longer before you finally earn an extra 5 to 10 vacation days.

26 VACATION DAYS?????

Ok, Play time is over. Time to be the President, Mr. Obama. Time to prove you were worth all those votes you got!

BEWARE OF FAKE FRIENDS!!!

2010-01-19T08:42:00.000-08:00

Really, I'm not desperate for friends. When you meet someone that seems to have a lot in common with you, be wary of them.

I think those people that are habitually bad friends, need to wear a name tag that says: Hello, My name is LOSER, I'm a BAD FRIEND!

I'm much happier with the handful of sincere and good friends I have, I really have no space/time in my life for these fair-weather fakes.

I'm actually still flaberghasted by a "friend" of mine who I just met in September/October 2009, who has already cast me aside.

I feel so used and dirty!

Honestly, How does someone make plans with someone else, (like for the next day) and "forget"?

ME: "Hey, since I'm coming over to do x, I wanted to make sure you had y, otherwise, I'll have to bring z."

FAKER: "Omg, so sorry, totally forgot about u. at my mom's house for dinner, take a raincheck?"

ME: "oh, ok. sure..."

REALLY???

But, fortunately for me, I have more than enough GOOD FRIENDS, to make up for all these lame-o's who waste my time.

Now, I know why I'm reserved when we go out. This is why I tend to sit in the corner and watch everyone around me. Because I dont trust people I dont know. Even if you're really trying to be my friend, you're gonna really have your work cut out for you.

Not interested in Fake Friends, Thank you anyway!

What would you do if this happened to you? How would you handle a Faker?

Taboo Topics

2010-01-16T19:27:00.000-08:00

My last post went against my policy of not discussing my opinion on taboo topics.

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil...

Taboo topics, in my opinion, are topics that almost always cause a problem. For me, the taboo topics have always been politics and religion.

My last blog was about all the hullabaloo about Haiti's recent earth quake disaster.
My heart honestly goes out to everyone involved, all victims, all survivors, everyone.
I was just so frustrated with being bombarded by "please help" commercials, adds, etc. Everywhere I look these days, EVERYONE is asking that I come out of my already empty pocket to help people who are in need.

My problem is that AMERICA is in need.

I hope my last post didn't ruffle anyone's feathers too much.

Hope you all are having a blessed new year so far!

America Relief Fund!!! Please contribute now!

2010-01-16T14:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, now... I know that there are terrible things happening all over the world. But why does that mean we should turn a blind eye to the terrible things that happen here at home, in the good ol' U. S. of A.?

Recently there was a devastating earth quake in Haiti. Now, before I continue on, let me just clarify, that I DO have a heart, I AM concerned about those involved and I HAVE prayed for and will continue to pray for those involved...
BUT!!!!

Why, OH WHY, has the rest of the world, including ourselves, forgotten about AMERICA!

We're currently living through a hellish economy, We've got homeless people, we've got starving children, babies who need good homes.

I personally knew a woman whose home was struck by lighting and burned to the ground, leaving her and her toddler son, homeless. She called the red cross and all they did to help her was give her and her son each a blanket and a pillow and washed their hands of them. They never got any money to help them. They never got any kind of housing aid, no food, nothing more than just a blanket and a pillow. It came to us, the people she worked with, to come together and help her and her son. But I'll bet you that Red Cross was one of the FIRST to offer up aid to Haiti...

Why is it that we feel so obligated to get involved in the tragedies of the rest of the world, when the rest of the world would never fathom returning the favor.

Now it seems the eyes of the world are focused on Haiti. Guess what guys, this ISN'T the first time disaster has struck Haiti.

In 2008, Haiti dealt with four separate hurricanes - Fay, Gustav, Hanna, and Ike, in the space of 30 days. These led to the deaths of more than 800 people and Haiti also lost about 60 per cent of their harvest as well as entire cities being rendered desolate and uninhabitable.
In Sept 2004, Tropical Storm Jeanne hit Haiti killing up to 2500 people and leaving thousands more homeless.
In 1998 Hurricane George killed more than 400 people and destroyed 80 per cent of Haiti's crops.
In 1994 Hurricane Gordon killed over 1000 Haitians.

That's 7 hurricanes just in the past 16 years.
(check my facts...)

My point is that in the same time, America has endured 1 earth quake, 3 floods, 5 hurricanes, 3 tornadoes, and 1 blizzard totalling over 2300 deaths, and well over 165 BILLION dollars in damages. And thats JUST natural disasters (not including fires, accidents, or terrorism).
I don't recall these other nations coming to the aid of our natural disaster victims.

Hell, if I was blind and didnt see it, fine. But the fact of the matter is that We (the U.S.A) have spent so much of our time and effort concerned for the wellfare of the other nations of the world, all the while ignoring the fact that our OWN nation, is sinking and no one is there to throw us a life vest...

Just now I found a link that blames this recent devastation in Haiti on Haiti's own construction practices. SEE HERE!
Now I ask you this. If the people of Haiti (government included) are aware of the fact that their little world lies dead in the center of the paths of destruction of natural disasters such as hurricanes and earth quakes, WHY the hell wouldn't they take advantage of the engineering knowledge that is widely available. In the above linked article, it was said that "larger buildings were built using nonductile concrete - described in a report presented at the World Conference on Earthquake Engineering in Beijing in 2008 as "arguably... the greatest seismic life safety hazard in many urban centers worldwide because of the collapse potential.""

WTH!!! If you know your home lies in the path of destruction, wouldn't you use care in building it to make sure it can withstand the destruction??

All this aside, I will continue to pray for Haiti, but dont ask me to donate money to help them, when I'd rather donate money to help US! GOD BLESS THE USA!

Users are Losers!

2010-01-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

NO! This isn't a drug rant. When I say Users, I'm talking about those leeches that make you believe they're your friends and all they do is use you.

These people are insects. Mosquitoes! All of them! They enter your life as if a warm breeze brought them your way and they smell your delicious blood so they land on your arm almost unnoticed. THEN! They act all nice and friendly-like and make you believe you're life long pals and then BOOM! Out of no where they strike!

The backstabbing. The "Oops, I forgot all about you!". The 'Let's put our friends in the middle of our fucked up relationship issues and see what happens' drama.

The "Lets meet here for this event" and they show up and 15 minutes later they run out saying they'll be right back, and they never come back because they're "fighting with their bf/gf on the phone in the car".

The "Come to the birthday party, but I'm going to act like a child when his ex girlfriend shows up and upstages my birthday cake" baby antics...

THEN there are the other kinds of users... the "we grew up together, you know me" users.

THESE parasites show up out of no where, blasts from the past, you have fond memories of them from times long ago.

These people show up when you're out, invite themselves to your table, ask you to buy them something to eat/drink (because they have no money)... and when you're down on your luck and need a hand, they STILL dont have any money.
THESE people also borrow your movies and NEVER bring them back. Until a month and a half later, you want to watch THAT movie and have to go to their house to get it back from them.
THESE people expect you to do everything for them (LEECH) but dont ever reciprocate (MOOCH).

ALL USERS ARE LOSERS! GO TO HELL because I DONT NEED YOU IN MY LIFE!!!

What kind of Users have you encountered in your life? How do you deal with them???

Dance like nobody is watching!

2010-01-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

People get too wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life, work, kids, family, friends... everything... that they often miss the most important things... the little things...

When was the last time you just got up out of your chair, for no other reason at all, but to dance? When was the last time you just twirled and twirled and twirled, and lost sight of which way was up? When was the last time you laid in the grass, and watched the clouds float by, describing what each cloud looked like to you as it passes?

I honestly can't remember.

What got me thinking like this? Just a little old man at the casino tonight. We went to the Wolf's Den at Mohegan Sun Casino. Wicked Peach was playing - we love them - they rock!!! LINK!!

Anyway, while at the Wolf's Den this old man got up from his seat - must have been late 70's, and he danced through all three sets - including during the band breaks. He was a BAD dancer, but he danced ALL. NIGHT. LONG!! And the thing about him, he kept changing his costumes. LMAO He had costumes. He had glow sticks, a pretend mic, an Elvis wig, a glittery new years eve wig thing.
But this old man and his antics tonight started me thinking about the small things I used to love to do that for some unknown reason, i dont do it anymore.

The last time I danced in the rain I was 13 - that was 15 years ago.

I know how short life is, and how precious each minute is. So seeing that man tonight, I really watched him. He was honestly dancing like no one is watching.
2010 will be my year to dance like no one is watching.
I started tonight.
I got up and I danced.

Happy New Year! 2010

2010-01-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

I said it best in my Dec 31 Full Moon Ritual:

"As one year comes to an end, the Moon teaches us that all life is cyclical. When one thing ends, another begins; as one door closes, another opens. The Goddess has taught us that we must make a fresh beginning as we pass through that newly open door. So too, must we begin a new year with fresh, cleansed minds, hearts and a revitalized passion for life." *

I think that will be my motto for 2010. It feels right, lets see how it plays out.

With new year, I have found new inspirations, new footsteps to follow.

The first of these muses is a band called Kittie. O! M! G! I'm in Femme Metal Heaven!!! LINK!!!

An all girl Metal band? Sign me up!!! I'm so loving Paperdoll by Kittie!

The second muse is a very talented young woman named Orianthi! The female version of Santana/Jimi Hendricks/Lenny Kravitz love child. LINK!!! Just! WOW!!!

Okay, I've got a LOT of work to do!!!

PLUS, I have a little creative writing project in the works... (12 chapters so far.....)

Sneek peek??

(“What are you grinning at? Haven’t you ever seen a girl first thing in the morning with bed head a la cat?” I tossed back the blankets and sat on the edge of the bed trying to wake up.

Orion laughed, “Yes, I have. What I’m smiling at is my daughter. I have missed too much of your life and I hope you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled it back into a rat’s-nest-messy-bun with my trusty scrunchie. I looked up at him and smiled sarcastically, “Sure, perhaps you can work on that AFTER I save the world.”

His smile sobered a bit and he looked a little sad. I felt bad for being grouchy. I got up and moved over to my laptop to turn off the sleepy music and shut it down.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bite. It’s just that this is a lot for me to absorb all at once and I know time is NOT on my side. But I would love to spend time with you and learn about the other half of me.” I looked back at him and smiled as I saw his face brighten up a bit. )

Hows that?

Anyway... Wrote some lyrics yesterday, we'll see what Luna inspires for it.

I am also working on a few more songs. I HOPE to get some simple videos put on Youtube soon, just to keep things moving... SEE MY YOUTUBE!

Christmas was okay - usual family dramatics aside, Christmas was actually great. I got to spend some quality time with my 16 year old sister whoimissverymuch! Holy crow is she growing up fast!

I also got to chill with my brother - nevertakinghimtoapartyagainthankyouverymuch!!!!! ThankgodthecarpetmanleftsomecarpetsprayhereOMG! Nuff said!

New years eve! Did a full moon ritual as it was a Full Blue Moon! There wont be another Blue Moon until 2012! Very powerfull. Then we went to see a friends band, Riptide. They're pretty good. I actually had a blast and loved every song I saw them do. But I wasn't feeling well anyway, so we left at about 12:15am 1/1/10.

So. New Year, New things, New beginnings (nolongerablonde).

I got tired of fighting the roots and just broke up with blonde and am making nice with brunette... matches my eyes. i'm getting used to it. Lets see how it plays out.

Okay, Happy New Year! Goddess Bless!

* Just a note: Yes I'm Wiccan, No I wont force it down your throat, but I'm not gonna hide in the broom closet just because it makes you uncomfortable. Lets be adults here and let me have my freedom of religion. Don't like it? Don't look.